Twelve-Ten

Danielle and I wrote this story in all one syllable words, as a classroom assignment. I think that we did a very good job describing the atmosphere of a coffee shop, although we never explicitly name it. It creates a sense of sensory experience to the story, adding to the reader's understanding. We definitely wanted it to be happy. Enjoy!

Twelve-Ten: Descriptive Writing

Hot, then cold. The heat burns the skin, 'til the cold of the air fights it off when the shop door swings shut. At first, a whiff of beans takes siege of her nose, with a hint of sweet things next. The noise fills her ears, booms, bangs, and dings of the shop's staff in the back; bells ring as boys and girls come through the door. It is twelve-ten, lunch time, loud crowd time. The folks choose drinks, food, and "soy-chai-three-shot-tea;" they chat, talk, yell to be heard as they sit, hands filled with treats. She steps up to the wood bar, asks for a large cup of Earl Gray and some milk, then waits. She looks at the face of the lone man, who comes each day, at the same time she does, twelve-ten, and eats cake. She wants to speak to him, ask his name, but has not yet.

As she stands, out of the way, two names are called. "Sam? Joel?" She walks to get her drink, grabs it, takes a small sip. Her arm bumps a hand. She looks up to say some words and sees the lone man. They lock eyes, hers blue, his brown. Cold, then hot.